BEST TITS ?

20:41
PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU SEE ANY BETTER TITS THAN THESE THIS WEEK. 
I THINK NOT AS THESE ARE THE TITS DREAMS ARE MADE OF.

IF YOU DO SEND PHOTO'S PLEASE.
THANK YOU ! 
Read On 4 comments

TOP 10 REASONS WHY CYBER SEX IS BETTER

19:29
TOP 10 REASONS WHY CYBER SEX IS BETTER

10.If the date goes bad, changing your Screen 
Name is easier then changing your real name.
 
9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional.
 
8.If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake 
up next to a keyboard.
 
7.You can exercise your offensive habits without
embarrassing yourself.
 
6.Viagra! Who needs Viagra?
 
5.Your partner could have more of a personality 
than your inflatable friends.
 
4. Three words: No shotgun weddings.
 
3.All guys look like George Clooney and 
all women like Pamela Anderson.
 
2.They never have to know you live in your 
parents basement.
1. If you catch a virus, only your computer dies.
 
------------




 
Blonde Q's & A's
 
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads. 
Q: How does a blonde like her eggs?
A: Unfertilized. 
 
Q: How do you drown a blond?
A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
 
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
 
Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts. 
Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period. 

Q: What are the worst six years in a blonde's life?
A: Third Grade.
 

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't. They're born that way


Read On 5 comments

DID PHILLIP FART ???????

19:20


What the heck, he's almost ninety, and at that age you don't hold anything back even if you wanted to!

The really important question?


Did Philip Fart?

What do you think?

CLICK PHOTO FOR BETTER LOOK


The expressions are priceless!!
Look at the Queen's face!


A fart is a pleasant thing,
It gives the belly ease,
It warms the bed in winter,
And suffocates the fleas.


A fart can be quiet,
A fart can be loud,
Some leave a powerful,
Poisonous cloud

A fart can be short,
Or a fart can be long,
Some farts have been known
To sound like a song.......

A fart c an create
A most curious medley,
A fart can be harmless,
Or silent, and deadly.

A fart might not smell,
While others are vile,
A fart may pass quickly,
Or linger a while.......

A fart can occur
in a number of places,
And leave everyone there,
With strange looks on their faces
.

From wide-open prairie,
To small elevators,
A fart will find all of
Us sooner or later..

But farts are all bad,
Is simply not true-
We must never forget.......
Sweet old farts like you!


Kinda brings a tear to your eye - right? 
Read On 5 comments

Voted Best kiss of 2012

19:13
VOTED BEST KISS 2012


 Precious photos of the wild-Walmartians too

Nothing is as tender and caring as  proud parents love and affection for their young offspring.


`On the riverbank...

In the Arctic ...

In India ..

In Africa .


SOMEWHERE NEAR
WAL-MART ...


Puts a lump in your
throat, doesn't it?






Read On 5 comments

Beach Series (3D)

01:54
Here is a little beach series I put together for you.

Hope you enjoy. GC














Read On 17 comments

Check for Alzheimer's - Pretty Amazing

17:47


Check for Alzheimer's - Pretty Amazing
 
The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of
Psychiatry at Harvard University . Take your time and see if you can read
Each line aloud without a mistake.
 
The average person over 60 years of age cannot do it!
 
1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat.
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat..
12. This is seconds cat.
 
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down and I
Betcha you cannot resist passing it on
 



The Story Of A Woman

A story of a woman who just turned 47 years old:

When I was 16, I hoped that one day I would have
a boyfriend.

When I was 18, I got a boyfriend, but there was no
passion.

So I decided I needed a passionate guy with a zest
for life. In college I dated a passionate guy, but he
was too emotional. Everything was an emergency,
he was a drama queen, cried all the time and
threatened suicide.

So I decided I needed a guy with stability.
When I was 25, I found a very stable guy but he
was boring. He was totally predictable and never
got excited about anything.

Life became so dull that I decided I needed a guy
with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an
exciting guy, but I couldn't keep up with him.
He rushed from one thing to another, never settling
on anything.

He did mad, impetuous things and flirted with everyone
he met. He made me miserable as often as happy.
He was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless.

So I decided to find a guy with some ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious guy with
his feet planted firmly on the ground and married him.
He was so ambitious that he divorced me, took everything
I owned, and ran off with my best friend.

I am now 47 And am looking for a guy with a big dick.

*******************
After attending a party for his boss, the life of the party was nursing a king-size hangover and asked his wife, "What the hell happened last night?"
"As usual, you made an ass of yourself in front of your boss," replied the wife.
"Piss on him," answered the husband.
"You did," said the wife, "and he fired you."
"Well, fuck him," said the husband.
"I did, and you go back to work in the morning." 





 Dictionary For Women's Personal Ads

Adventurous............Slept with all your mates
40-ish............49
Athletic............No tits
Average looking........Face like an arse
Beautiful............Pathological liar
Contagious smile........Does a lot of pills
Educated............Was screwed to bits at university
Emotionally secure......On medication
Feminist............Fat
Free spirit............Junkie
Friendship first.........Former slut
Fun.................Annoying
Gentle.................Dull
Good listener..........Autistic
New age................Body hair problems
Old fashioned..........No BJs or anal
Open minded............Desperate
Outgoing...............Loud and very embarrassing
Passionate.............Sloppy drunk
Poet...................Depressive
Professional............Bitch
Romantic...............Frigid
Social.................Crotch like a wizard's sleeve
Voluptuous.............Very fat
Large lady.............Immensely fat
Wants soul mate.........Stalker
Widow..................Murderer



Read On 8 comments

Elf Fun (3D)

23:59
Hi All. 

So I've been working on a new piece of work (above), but then I thought she probably should relax for a bit, between shoots, right?





GC
Read On 12 comments

Naked Wizard Render

23:43
Not totally sure where to post, so I'm going to post this here. This is a work in progress I thought you'd be interested in. First is my attempt at getting this to a more finished state, second is an earlier render I sort of liked.

So, if you didn't know, these are 3D renders I've done. G.


Posted for and on behalf of Glenn Carter

Read On 12 comments

A SOLDIERS LETTER

02:12

A SOLDIER RECEIVED A LETTER FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND, BUT HE COULDN'T SHOW  IT
TO HIS FRIENDS, BECAUSE SHE SIGNED IT "MOTHER," AND THIS IS WHAT SHE
WROTE:





M- IS FOR THE MANY TIMES WE DID IT.

O- IS FOR THE OTHER TIMES WE TRIED.

T- IS FOR THE TERRIFIC TIMES WE HAVE.

H- IS FOR THE HOTEL WE WENT TO.

E- IS FOR THE EASY WAY WE WENT.

R- IS FOR THE RHYTHM WE HAD.


THAT SPELLS "MOTHER" -- WHAT I'M GOING TO BE IN 9 MONTHS.
HE WROTE BACK AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAID:


F- IS FOR THE FUCKED UP LETTER YOU SENT ME.

A- IS FOR THE ASS YOU ARE.

T- IS FOR THE TROUBLE YOUR IN.

H- IS FOR THE HOE YOU REALLY ARE.

E- IS FOR THE EASY WAY YOU GAVE IT UP.

R- IS FOR THE ROMANCE WE NEVER HAD.




AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I'M THE FATHER
THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF THE BABY:

B- IS FOR THE BABY WITHOUT A FATHER.

A- IS FOR THE ABORTION YOU BETTER GET.

B- IS FOR THE BASTARD HE OR SHE WILL BE.

Y- IS FOR THE "YES" WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID "NO."


SHE REALIZED THAT SHE FORGOT A FEW THINGS IN THE FIRST LETTER SO SHE
WROTE THE DICKLESS WONDER BACK AND THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID:


B- IS FOR THE BEEF YOU HAD WITH ME.
E- IS FOR THE EATING YOU DID.

S- IS FOR THE GOOD PUSSY YOU SUCKED.

T- IS FOR THE TIMES I GOT YOU HARD.

F- IS FOR THE FUNNY MADE DICK YOU HAVE.

R- IS THE RASH ON YOUR ASS.

I- IS FOR THE INTERCOURSE THAT WAS BORING.

E- IS FOR THE ENERGY FOR YOU TO CUM.

N- IS FOR THE NASTY ASS DOG YOU ARE.

D- IS FOR THE DAD YOUR GOING TO BE.


AND THAT SPELLS "BESTFRIEND" -- WHO I WAS FUCKIN' WHILE YOU WERE AWAY.



A hunter kills a deer and brings it home. He decides to clean and serve the venison for supper.
He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is - so he does not tell them.
His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for supper?"
"You'll see", says his dad.
They start eating supper and his daughter keeps asking what they're eating.
"Ok," says her dad, "here's a hint, its what your mother sometimes calls me."
"We're eating asshole!!", she screams.

Read On 3 comments

BLONDE WORK CREW

13:28




"Blonde Work Crew"
Two blonde girls were working for the Timaru District Council Parks Department. One would dig a hole and the other girl would follow behind her and fill the hole in.
They worked up one side of the street, then down the other side, before moving on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling the hole in again, then moving on.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but had absolutely no idea what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, I'm impressed by all the hard effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it - why do you dig the holes, only to have your partner follow behind you and fill it up again?
The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, Well, I suppose it looks odd because we are normally a three person team but the girl who plants the trees called in sick today.

<>*<>*<>*<>*<>

"Blonde Tattoo"
A blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh. Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that location.
She responds, "It is really cool. If you put your ear up against it, you can smell the ocean."


<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<><>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>*<>




The Pretty Girl

A man walks into a bar and winks at a pretty girl at the other end "bartender", he says, "I'd like to buy that lady a drink."

"Don't do it," the bartender says, "She's a lesbian."

"You're crazy," he said, "She's beautiful and she winked back."

So the bartender gives her the drink. A minute later she moves down and thanks the gentleman.

"Bartender," he says, "Give the lady another drink." "I'm warning you," the bartender says as he hands her the drink.

After she finishes this drink she asks if he would like to see her breast. "YES!!!" he says and the woman lifts her blouse.

After the next drink, and another warning from the bartender, she takes his hand and asks, "Would you like to touch my ass?"

The gentleman replies "OH, YES!!!, DEFINITELY!!!" So he sits with his hand on her bottom and asks for another drink.

The bartender, thoroughly impressed by now and convinced he was wrong in his judgement obliges.

After this she asks " Are you ready to taste a hot, wet, sweet pussy?"

"THANK YOU GOD!!!", the man exclaims, and then "YES!!!!!!!"

At this the attractive lady grabs him by his tie pulls him close, kisses him and says, "Hope you enjoyed!"
________

Little Johnny and two of his friends were sitting on a front porch one day after school.

Billy looked down the street and saw a bright red Corvette.

"Some day I'm gonna be a lawyer so I can buy me one of those Corvettes," he said.

Robbie looked over at the driveway next to the Corvette and saw a brand new Ferrari.

"I'm gonna be a doctor," he said, "so I can get me a fast Ferrari."

Little Johnny looked over at the other two and replied, "I'm gonna learn how to suck dick when I grow up."

The other two jaws dropped.

"That's what my sister does, and she owns both of those cars," explained Little Johnny
________





Jill, a rather young miss attending St. Mary's Catholic Girls School, was sitting on the sidewalk, smoking a cigarette.

The local priest, walks by and gives her a glare.

"Jill! Smoking at such a young age! Aren't you ashamed?"

"What?" said Jill. "You got something better to do after sex?"

 Apples

A man is driving down a country road when he sees a sign,
"Apples $5.00 each." Intrigued to find out why an apple should
Cost that much, he stops and asks the farmer why the apples
Are so expensive.
The farmer says, "These are special peanut butter and jelly
Apples. Here, try one."
The man takes a bite and says, "Unbelievable; I taste the
Peanut butter but not the jelly."
The farmer says, "Turn it around." He does and he savors a
Sweet jelly.
The farmer says, "I've got ham and cheese apples, too, but
They're $10.00 each."
The man is excited, buys one, takes a bite and says, "Wow,
These are great but I taste the ham but not the cheese."
The farmer says, "Turn it around." He does, takes a bite and
A rich, creamy cheese taste fills his mouth.
The farmer says, "Now, if you really like those, I've got
Some very special apples that cost $50.00 each. They're pussy
Apples."
The man cannot resist and buys one. He takes a bite and says,
"YUCK, these taste like shit!"
The farmer says, "Turn it around."


John was in a bar looking very dejected.
His friend, Steve, walked over and asked,
"What's wrong?"
"It's my mother-in-law, " John replied,
While shaking his head sadly. "I have
A real problem with her."
"Cheer up," Steve said. "Everyone has
Problems with their mother-in-law. "
"Yeah," John answered. "But I got mine pregnant."
Read On 6 comments

86 Years Old

16:58



Your honor, I am 86 years old. So here I am, sitting there on porch on a
warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and
sits beside me. He starts to rub my thigh, and it feels good, Your
Honor.

So I don't stop him, and he begins to rub my old breasts, Your Honor.
Why, Your Honor, I haven't felt that good in years! So I just spread my
old legs and say to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

That's when he yelled, "April Fool" and that's when I shot the Son of a
Bitch!!



*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸, *¤º°`°º¤* ,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*

A man lies on his deathbed, surrounded by his family: a weeping wife and four children. Three of the children are tall, good looking and athletic; but, the fourth and youngest is an ugly runt.
"Darling wife," the husband whispers, "assure me that the youngest child really is mine. I want to know the truth before I die, I will forgive you if ..."
The wife gently interrupts him. "Yes, my dearest, absolutely, no question, I swear on my mother's grave that you are his father."
The man then dies, happy. The wife mutters under her breath: "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."



*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸, *¤º°`°º¤* ,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*,¸¸,*¤º°`°º¤*

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles...the salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for tampons for your wife?".
He answers, "You see, it's like this. Yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes and she came home with a tin of tobacco and some rolling paper. So, I figure that if I have to roll my own, SO DOES SHE!"


Read On 8 comments

Letters Of The Alphabet

16:31



The teacher was addressing her class of young children.
"So, children, today we are going to run through the letters of the
alphabet, and see which words we know".

She scanned her eyes round the attentive young faces. "Ok ", she said,
"Who can tell me a word beginning with the letter 'A'?"

Little Johnny at the back shot his hand in the air.
"Yes, Johnny - Go on".

"ARSE, miss".

"Oh.... er... well, yes, I suppose so."

Now, who knows a word beginning with 'B'?"

Once again Johnny's hand flew into the air.

"Go on then Johnny".

"BASTARD, Miss".

"Oh dear. But yes, you're right."

"Now then, who knows a word beginning with 'C'?
On second thought, we'll skip that and move on to 'D'.
Who knows a word beginning with the letter 'D'?"

Little Johnny's hand flies up. The teacher thinks about it for a moment,
and
then says: "Ok, Johnny, go on..."

"DWARF, miss."

"Oh, very good, Johnny. Do you know what a dwarf is?"

"Yes miss. A short-arse squat little cunt about three feet high."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

A chief and an admiral were sitting in the barber shop. They were both
just getting finished with their shaves--the barbers were reaching for
some aftershave to slap on their faces. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't
put that shit on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The
chief turned to his barber and said in a smug voice, "Go ahead and put
it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells
like."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Herb sat glumly all evening eyeing his wife suspiciously.

Finally, he blurted, "Blanche, admit it. You've been sucking off the dog!"

"What?!" she shouted. "How can you say such a thing?"

"I've been watching you two, Herb answered, every time you yawn, he
gets a hard-on!"
oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO


Read On 8 comments

New Medications For Women Only

16:25



DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to six hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing
the
memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait
till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
flirting.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country western music.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to flip off other drivers.

PENISCILLIN
Potent antibiotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines
as,"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-ALl
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy
so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a
book
by Dr. Laura.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers.

SEXCEDRIN
More effective than Excedrin in creating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
headache" syndrome.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging
him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it
herself.



Why Men Get Out Of Bed:
A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get
out of bed in the middle of the night:
5% said it was to get a glass of water.
12% said it was to go the toilet.
83% said it was to go home.
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